Author Archives: MioJip

Male. Love to write. Avid anime watcher. Manwha reader

Love’s Passion

You know what’s very interesting? I find the idea of a relationship to be very selfish. The idea of love though is not. That level of caring for someone is amazing. The want of having someone love you back is completely understandable. Asking for someone’s life though is a pretty big question. I know its treated like nothing anymore but you are asking someone for their entirety. I know there are methods to back out and what not which is precisely why I feel like its lost its meaning. It just isn’t as big of a deal as I make it out to be huh? But don’t you also want that person who you grow old with? Don’t you want to be able to say, happy 50th anniversary with a smile and actually mean it? You don’t get that unless you ask with true meaning. It may have lost its value to many people out there but I hope one day, you understand what I mean.

Selfish Desire

You know, part of me has a sincere obsession
One that may lead to a heartfelt confession
For I wish to be your greatest possession
Love so great it gives me a sense of direction

By you, I wouldn’t mind being abused
For you, I wouldn’t mind being used
I know you wouldn’t push past my limits
Its just the way that we hit it

Not that we have to share details
About the ways you like to be railed
It’ll be our dirty little secrets
Ones I’m sure we wont forget

I’d rather peer into your mind
Look closer inside every time
As it deepens our connection
Giving us a bit of tension

I want us to unravel
Be each other’s chapel
I only wish for it to become our chapter
As we work towards a happily ever after

You are my greatest obsession
Though I regret, no such thing as a confession
I’m not yet strong enough for such a pure connection
I can not do this yet for my own protection

I wish that for me, you would wait
I hope that you think of me as great
You are everything I could ever want
You are the greatest thing I’d be able to flaunt

I am not calling you out to be an object
I just don’t want you to object
Sadly it’s probably only my dream
For us to be a special kind of team

We are my greatest obsession
A better me who is worth this kind of connection
One that can offer us some sort of protection
I may not be yours, but you are my direction

Flame of Life

Warmth is our addiction
We need it to survive
Whatever gives us that feeling
Whatever we have made our flame

We go back to it all the time
Regardless of good or bad
We allow it to grow
Though the growth can be dangerous

Even too much good can be bad
But too much bad is worse
For unlike good it takes root
Poisons for eons to come

Even now we need it
Without it, who would feel alive
Without that warmth, the flame
we’d all just be cold, alone in the dark

Puzzle

I am a race with no lines
Pieces that do not make a whole
A flame that provides no warmth
A light that beckons darkness

I try to be complete
To be not this but much more
A fragment of who I am
So small it doesn’t even feel like me

i am a house that doesn’t feel like home
A phone with no screen
Heat when there is no longer cold
Life, at least how it feels near the end

Will I ever be finished
Is it even worth trying
Every piece brings more
It hurts to not be complete

Our own doctor

Worries always linger
Pain never dulls
So how am I supposed to go forward
When it feels like Death at the door

The anxiety slowly transforms to panic
Life itself feels like its about to collapse
Anxiety only grows
Life seems to just turn grey

Self esteem fades
Mental takes a decline
How can I be sure the end is worth it
When each step is filled with despair

You got this, is what they say
I’m already doing my best
Limit is almost hit
Hope out of reach

I happen to think just one thing
This pain means I’m heading the right way
It may hurt now but that’s healing
Its not a bandaid, its self surgery

Perspective

How aware are you
Do you constantly think back?
Have you ever thought backwards?
Not sure how, then I’ll show you

You remember the nights up all alone
Knife, pills, whatever you could get in hand
Only thing pulling you back is a simple thought
How will everyone else feel in the end

You think of people mourning
Those wishing you had never gone
But lemme sincerely ask you why
Why do you think this as you sit alone

Isn’t this what you hope for and dread?
Why’d  they only show up after then
Aren’t you just hoping they care at least a little bit
Just a show that every thought can be flipped

Sexist?

It was only a few days ago where I came to the realization that I am sexist. Not in the way you probably expect. I, a male, am uncomfortable around men. Not to say I am like this to all men. There are just many times where a male’s presence does indeed make me uncomfortable. Inversely I am uncomfortable around women but they provide a sense of safety for me. I don’t see a therapist or anything but bear with my line of thinking real quick. What if I feel uncomfortable around women because I am a man? I am the very thing that makes me feel uncomfortable so why would women who already feel that way for men not feel the same way around me? Don’t get me wrong, I hear it all the time. “You aren’t like other men. You are different.” Then why do I feel like I’m one of them so often. Coincidentally I wrote about worshipping friends a day before two of my friends told me of their interesting interactions with men that day. One friend receives messages from someone she hadn’t spoken to in years. A coworker who was now a forgotten memory reached out and confessed his love for her. Personally I find it weird to be able to maintain a desire, a connection, for someone without talking or seeing the person at all. Though, at the same time I understood the idea of yearning for someone for a long period of time. I mean isn’t that how relationships are perceived in movies? As if the passage of time doesn’t affect love. The reality is that people do change. Meanwhile another friend who is currently having relationship issues but is trying to fix them hung out with a male friend. He made an inappropriate comment of wanting to be used by her. Absolutely wrong. She is trying to fix the relationship, so definitely not something that she’d want to hear. I do get the idea of wanting to be used by someone you “love’ but there is a time n place for it. So now you are probably wondering what those two men have in common with me. Easy. We all worship something and it may not necessarily be the right thing to do but we all do it. The first worshipped a woman for years. Well the idea of this woman. Not the actual woman. (Can’t blame him. I be crushing on her hard.) The second worships a taken woman with the desire to take her for himself. The third is the unmentioned man in the relationship failing to worship the person he chose to worship. And me who worships many people where maybe none of which should be worshipped at all.

Written in the Stars


I look to the skies
Its filled with horrors and sorrow
The darkness overwhelms
Infinitely growing, infinitely devouring
As sources of light disappear in time
Some unleashing a final show of light
Others joining, going from light to dark
They never even get close to even
Dark has no rules thus no limits
Light must fade, as the stars have written
Proof the universe also wishes for our downfall
A proven method of attack that works on any
Give them a shred of hope that seems strong
Then give them despair to show them they are wrong
It crushes spirits and if not then they do it again
For light is destined to end one of two ways
as a noble sacrifice for the cause
Or an enemy who destroys any and all

To not be


I do not simply wish to die
Its not a matter of disappearing
I wish I never existed
That way there’d be no regrets
Not a person to be mourned
Nor to have made any mistakes
Just a matter of never have been
The best way to just be gone
Painlessly and unnoticed
Just to keep their hearts safe